Having difficulties with medical secretaries is awkward indeed BUT it doesn't have to be.

If you ever feel like you're getting the run around at a doctor's office... Don't stop calling or asking questions until you get the answers you need or they help you find somebody who can. For example, I peppered my ENT's office with phonecalls: wanting to know when I'd be meeting my surgeon. I would usually call every day around about the same time (it became a habit or ritual of sorts.) By the third call, Sherri (the receptionist) reassured me that she would call me when she heard back from the surgeon's secretary. I pointed out to her that I would still be calling her on a daily basis because-- you guessed it-- this was CANCER. It's my life we're talking about. After establishing an open, personal dialogue with Sherri, I made sure that I would always address her by her first name and make some small talk each time I called. By the time I finally got my appointment, Sherri left me with an invitation: I could call her if I needed any help.

So, what do you do if you have an awkward face-to-face encounter... As prepared as anyone will try to be for their first conversation with the doc who's going to cut the cancer out: you'll still feel unprepared. Human beings habitually like to figure out everything they can without even having a real clue about what lies ahead. When I presented myself in front of my surgeon's secretary, I was given what I interpreted to be an impersonal glance and asked for my cards and I could take a seat in the waiting room. I guess, because it was such a huge deal for me, I thought that I deserved more feeling or sympathy or respect and something was surely missing... So I sulked. Just a little bit. Hopefully not so much that anyone would notice me-- and if they did I could just blame it on the cancer!


Before leaving the hospital, I spoke with the receptionist and gave her the alternate address and contact info. I wasn't getting any sympathy from her and let's face it: my life was tragic! I kept trying to get answers and she was not even giving me any clue of care or concern. Frustrated, I stormed off. After a moment's composure I went back to her desk, catching the end of a venting session she was having with a co-worker. This was my cue. I waited until she looked up and then I apologized to her, explaining that I was dealing with a whole lot of stress and new information. Then I remarked that I had no idea what she was dealing with each and every day. She must get lots of people blowing up at her.

"You do an amazing job of it, Lily, really you do. You're right there at the front lines taking shots from every angle. Thanks for doing what you do... You make it a whole lot easier for all of us to cope."

After that, I was sure to call her by her first name every time I called. Then I was asking her how her weekend or march break went. It felt like she spent more time talking with me and she wouldn't leave me hanging; promising to call me back and when. Turning her into a person meant that she was no longer an obstacle: she was on team Melissa.

N' that's how I survived... MDB