A swift kick in the keister!

Positive or Negative? Flip a freaking coin! I know, I know... so many people see this strong stoic remarkably positive individual when they look at me... I can't help it! It's not my fault! Sure I have my down times.... everybody does. At least I have enough perception to get that down side is negotiable not permanently inescapable. Nobody wants to hear about all the bad news or sad things that have happened to me. Not really, unless I share the common kernel of 'this is what I've learned' or 'so this is what I'm going to do about it." At this point, those of you who are annoyed at the world for everything that hasn't happened as you would have wished it to have a choice: sink or swim! Powerless is not sexy! Example? If I feel like crap about something, I have found (prove me, if I'm wrong) that it's almost like you've got this big fat dead weight pressing down on you. You feel saggy and baggy and anything less than desirable that comes into mind, please insert here _________. This is not an I'm right, you're wrong conversation either. I am just sick of arguing with myself about how good I've really got it and how the light is still at the end of the tunnel and all this crap is temporary and eventually things will turn out.

I know there's something amazing in my future... I just know it. Not quite sure what exactly it is but I am willing to take a step back from it and decide once and for all what that's got to be. I'm not talking 'may' be or 'might just' be-- those qualifiers are for wusses! Or coy, seductively flirtatious individuals who would love to keep you hanging while they dangle their attractiveness for all to see. But that's really only just another story-- Harlequin I think! I am sick to death of being deprived! Honest! Trying desperately to get back on my game and losing myself in strategy has almost turned the life I am currently leading bland by comparison. I guess that I'll just have to look at my present condition with a slanted realistic eye and say "this is how it is". The only chaser that I will need to continually add-- or at least until it becomes habit-- is that "this isn't how it's got to be or will be." Adding that future context always give you a swift kick in the keister! I'm so lucky that I don't bruise that easily... at least not in my rounder, fleshier parts!

N' that's how I'm surviving... MDB