Getting on with getting on with it.

Getting on with it? Oh come on, I think we all know in our heart of hearts what that entails. Giving up the reasons why not maybe? Just maybe that's how most of us stop ourselves; continually compounding reasons why not with other theories about something bad that might happen when we do what we are feeling the urge to do but still have no idea what will come of it. Isn't that life, in short form? I mean, how many of us have ever really, fully, truly been able to foresee any and every eventuality or circumstance that may or may not result from our actions.

If you ask me-- and I am sure most of you would have if you had the chance-- we waste more time and energy convincing ourselves out of taking risks. Does the risk justify the means? Come on... how warm does your left brain keep you at night? Does it have hands that caress you softly? Money to buy groceries? Does it ever even expand beyond calculating the probability that you may in fact become a success at some forthcoming point in your existence?

In retrospect talking myself out of the dangers of radiotherapy might have been a good idea had I not the indeterminable price placed on my future existence. What price would you trade for life? What nu,ber could ever even act as a counterpoint to all the ups and downs you have not yet ever even imagined into existence. Thus is the season of continuance. That drib for drab state of unknowing we constantly find ourselves confronting each and every day that we open our eyes upon this mortal coil.

Within any 'plane' of existence have we not the where-with-all to sit and ponder-- even sleeping, eating and breathing have gotten us a far cry from when we were but mewling infants in pampers and play things. What is you created a possibility that everything you put forward over the course of a day is meant to contribute to your end result. If you were to choose when and where and how you were going to die, would you? Would you tempt fate and keep doing everything that you can to go on living?

My bet is that most mortals are scared shitless of their ever looming mortality. Living life until you die just for the sake of living sure might bring home the meat and potatoes in your kitchen but what remains after that's expired? I have cheated death large-scale at least twice in thirty years of not really knowing what to do with myself and my life and my future. As confused as I might feel at times, one thing that I know for sure is that I love myself and my life and everything that surrounds me too much to choose an early exit. Cutting out on life is a choice that every adult has the power to make at some point in their inconsequential reckoning for a life. But, who says that it's not worth it: you do! Blaming hardship on the outside can be a bit of a cop out. Think about it, what control do we have over life outside the box? Answer? Where I come from, the only place that ever even feels the impact of your actions is you.

This isn't a blame game either! Sheesh! Wherever you are right now has come as a direct result of what you were doing when you were doing it. Why doesn't really matter, unless you're looking for something to kill swiftly and surely and avoid in future. You are in absolute and total control of your life, your future, and your portrait! Paint with style! Paint with colour! and Wear all your chakras with pride!

N' that's how I'm surviving... MDB